Let’s face it folks I am just like every other middle aged man. I always hope that I will be asked to prove I am at least 25 when buying booze. I take on physical challenges that were probably always beyond me and certainly are now. I pull my stomach in whenever a pretty girl so much as looks at me and inside (deep inside) I think I am still 18 or thereabouts.
So when someone looks at me and then says in a loud voice, “Are you entitled to concessions” I know its time to think again! Of course I went swiftly onto the attack. “Obviously you mean my wife”, I said, “and I can assure that she is younger than me”. But my heart wasn’t in it. Everyone who knows Erica knows that not only is she younger than me she looks younger even than that. No it was me that he was looking at and he saw ‘old’.
Then I made the excuses. It was very dark in there wasn’t it! The bloke obviously had bad eyesight. Or the worst well I assume that almost everyone goes in there is entitled to a concession so he says it automatically. So that’s the real problem. I wasn’t trying to get into a Club 18/30 thrash I was going into the London Canal Museum. Looking around it was clear that the only people younger than me had a kid in tow.
So I am now weighing up my options:
- Move to China where they revere the elderly. Unfortunately they also tend to lock up liberals so that is out.
- Wear modern trendy clothes. Well that one is out too. I was never modern and trendy even when I was young.
- Get a personal trainer and sweat out the fat. That one’s out – I’m out too lazy!
- Have Botox injections and wear a false tan. What and look like Tony Blair? Certainly not.
- Give up and grow old gracefully. Accept that my most important job in life is to be Eva’s Grandpa. That is tempting but perhaps not yet.
So my big resolution is to carry on just the way I always have done. What if people do think I am old – they don’t see the inner me. I know I am still behaving like a young radical. I know I can still really annoy Council Officers and our political opponents. Even more to the point I know I can annoy most members of the Lib Dems as well. I’ve still got loads of ideas and loads of energy and loads of self belief! So no slippers and carpet bowls yet. On with the revolution where’s the next big idea?
I know I promised when I started my blog that I wouldn’t burden you with trivia but this isn’t trivia. It’s the start of the next period of my life. FEEL MY PAIN PEOPLE – SHARE MY AGONY – HELP ME THROUGH THESE DARK TIMES!